Explaining the World to a Four-Year-Old: The Last Shade of Gray

On the way home from drama club today M asks me:

When can I play grown up games?

What sort of grown up games?

Like daddy’s games. Like Tomb Raider.

Oh when you’re much older; they have ages on them like 15 or 18 so when you are that old.

Daddy is past 15 and past 18 so he can play them.

Yes that’s right.

What do you do in the games/why can’t I play them?

Well they are violent, you kill people that sort of thing so they are not suitable for children. Like there are some films that are grown up films that are not for children.

Like what?

Like lots of films.

But like what ones?

Well like Fight Club and American Beauty we have those but they are not kids films.

And like The Last Shade of Gray.

*Wait what? How did Fifty Shades of Gray permeate my four-year-old’s consciousness?*

Yes, that’s definitely not for children.

Why not? What is The Last Shade of Gray about?

I don’t know I haven’t seen it.

Ask daddy then.

Daddy hasn’t seen it either.

Well you should watch it then.

We don’t want to watch it.

Why not?

Well there are some films that are about things that aren’t very nice that some people don’t want to watch.

I have the Incredibles. I can watch that; that’s for children, though it is a bit scary.

Yes, there you go then. Would you like your crisps now?

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Burnt Supper

British/American, postgraduate, wife, mother, dog-owner

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